shit's real

so i was eating breakfast with sam this morning. pancakes, a nice change from the usual giant egg shandwhich i get from esther and agnes (<3). and all of a sudden, i have to shit. like, not a joke, i fucking have to shit. now, i had visited the bathrooms at akwafo before (where we were eating), and not only were like 14 people sleeping outside the bathroom, but it was probably the most god awful smell i've ever seen. i could taste the shit. im pretty sure i got a parasite from just walking in that room. so those bathrooms were not an option.

SO, i decide i need to walk back up to volta (my dorms). Because i don't know of anywhere closer, and there is guaranteed toilet paper (a rare delicacy in ghana). its about a 3 block walk uphill, and i am booking it. like, no one walks fast here, cause its hot as balls, so i'm pretty sure everyone i passed was like "oh shit obruni is about to poop herself". THEN i got SUCH bad stomach cramps from holding all my shit in, and had to bend over about the last block to my dorms. 

(side note, i had borrowed my roommates white linen pants. there was a scenerio in my mind in which i had to explain to her that i had accidentally shit in her white pants. my bad.)

i finally get there, run to the bathroom, and take the most necessary poop of my life. 

i think this may be karma, because every time we talk about our bowel movements (average 6 times a day), i am always like "dude, i still haven't gotten diarrhea. im regular as shit (literally?). sucks for you guys." 

anyway, crisis averted, here's a cool video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wA5bDPYP98

ehwooowwah

this is ahenkan. he is one of our eap student guides. i thought he was cool, until he wasn't here is a sampling of some of the texts he has sent me:

HI ERIN THANKS SO MUCH YOU HAVE REALLY SIHOWN ME A TRUE CHARACTER OF GOOD FRIENDSHIP MAY WHAT YOU SPENT ON ME BE MULTIPLY IN THOUSANDS FOLDS AND FOR ME TO SAY THANK YOU WILL BE UNFAIR THAN TO SAY ACCEPT MY LOVE YOU WILL FOREVER REMAIN SPECIAL TO ME AND BE REMEMBERED GOOD NIGHT MY DEAR ERYN
yikes
HI BABY AM OK HERE ON CAMPUS AND I HOPE U TOO SAY HI TO EVERYVODY ON MY BEHALF TELL THEM I HAVE MISSED THEM AND TO U I SAY UR WAOO I LOV DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
oh god
PLEASE ERIN IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT I HAVE WRONG YOU AT AM DEEPLY REGRETTED AND SAY FIND A PLACE IN YOUR HUMBLE HEART TO FORGIVE ME BECAUSE AM WORRIED AT WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED
pleasestop
A VERY GOOD MORNING TO YOU ERIN AND ELIZA I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD SLEEP HAVE A PLEASANT DAY AND FRUITFUL STAY AS YOU MOVE INTO YOUR NEWLY RESIDENT BYE FOR NOW FROM AHENKAN PLS ACCEPT THIS MESSAGE
then i politely asked him to fuck off
THANKS A LOT AM ALSO VERY GRATEFUL FOR BEING VERY KIND ENOUGH TO TELL ME HOW YOU FELL AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU FEEL DISCOMFORT I WILL ACT ACCORDINGLY PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCERE APOLOGY AM SO SORRY GOODNIGHT AND HAVE A NICE DREAM I HAVE ACCEPTED IT IN GOOD FAITH AND THEREFORE PLEAD WITH YOU TO FORGIVE ME ANY INCONVIENCE THAT MIGHT HAVE CAUSED MY DEEPLY REGRET THANK YOU
then
PLS ERIN I HAVE DELETED YOUR NUMBER FROM MY HANDSET AS A MEASURE TO PREVENTING ME TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO DIAL IT SO BE REST ASSURED THAT AM GOING TO KEEP TO YOUR SAYINGS THANKS A LOT MY HUMBLE APOLOGY
um
HI ERIN I WISH I COULD HAVE SAID A FINAL GOODBYE TO U AS I LEAVE FOR MY CAMPUS BUT MY FEAR WAS THAT U MIGHT NOT WELCOME ME BECAUSE OF YOUR LATEST MESSAGE HOWEVER I WANT TO SAY THANKS TO U ALL FOR YOUR SURPRISE IT WAS SIMPLY MAGNIFICENT MY SHORT MESSAGE FOR U IS HAVE A SUCCEFUL SEMESTER DEVOID OF SICKNESS BUT OF GREATNESS AND JOYFULLNESS

i thought you fucking deleted my number, what the shit??

BUT, its really a shame it didn't work out though, he had such great style.

white people in africa

 

1. play with the african children

2. get your hair braided

3. take a shit ton of pictures of the same thing that all of the other white people are taking pictures of