shit's real

so i was eating breakfast with sam this morning. pancakes, a nice change from the usual giant egg shandwhich i get from esther and agnes (<3). and all of a sudden, i have to shit. like, not a joke, i fucking have to shit. now, i had visited the bathrooms at akwafo before (where we were eating), and not only were like 14 people sleeping outside the bathroom, but it was probably the most god awful smell i've ever seen. i could taste the shit. im pretty sure i got a parasite from just walking in that room. so those bathrooms were not an option.

SO, i decide i need to walk back up to volta (my dorms). Because i don't know of anywhere closer, and there is guaranteed toilet paper (a rare delicacy in ghana). its about a 3 block walk uphill, and i am booking it. like, no one walks fast here, cause its hot as balls, so i'm pretty sure everyone i passed was like "oh shit obruni is about to poop herself". THEN i got SUCH bad stomach cramps from holding all my shit in, and had to bend over about the last block to my dorms. 

(side note, i had borrowed my roommates white linen pants. there was a scenerio in my mind in which i had to explain to her that i had accidentally shit in her white pants. my bad.)

i finally get there, run to the bathroom, and take the most necessary poop of my life. 

i think this may be karma, because every time we talk about our bowel movements (average 6 times a day), i am always like "dude, i still haven't gotten diarrhea. im regular as shit (literally?). sucks for you guys." 

anyway, crisis averted, here's a cool video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wA5bDPYP98

ehwooowwah

this is ahenkan. he is one of our eap student guides. i thought he was cool, until he wasn't here is a sampling of some of the texts he has sent me:

HI ERIN THANKS SO MUCH YOU HAVE REALLY SIHOWN ME A TRUE CHARACTER OF GOOD FRIENDSHIP MAY WHAT YOU SPENT ON ME BE MULTIPLY IN THOUSANDS FOLDS AND FOR ME TO SAY THANK YOU WILL BE UNFAIR THAN TO SAY ACCEPT MY LOVE YOU WILL FOREVER REMAIN SPECIAL TO ME AND BE REMEMBERED GOOD NIGHT MY DEAR ERYN
yikes
HI BABY AM OK HERE ON CAMPUS AND I HOPE U TOO SAY HI TO EVERYVODY ON MY BEHALF TELL THEM I HAVE MISSED THEM AND TO U I SAY UR WAOO I LOV DO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
oh god
PLEASE ERIN IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT I HAVE WRONG YOU AT AM DEEPLY REGRETTED AND SAY FIND A PLACE IN YOUR HUMBLE HEART TO FORGIVE ME BECAUSE AM WORRIED AT WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED
pleasestop
A VERY GOOD MORNING TO YOU ERIN AND ELIZA I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD SLEEP HAVE A PLEASANT DAY AND FRUITFUL STAY AS YOU MOVE INTO YOUR NEWLY RESIDENT BYE FOR NOW FROM AHENKAN PLS ACCEPT THIS MESSAGE
then i politely asked him to fuck off
THANKS A LOT AM ALSO VERY GRATEFUL FOR BEING VERY KIND ENOUGH TO TELL ME HOW YOU FELL AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU FEEL DISCOMFORT I WILL ACT ACCORDINGLY PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCERE APOLOGY AM SO SORRY GOODNIGHT AND HAVE A NICE DREAM I HAVE ACCEPTED IT IN GOOD FAITH AND THEREFORE PLEAD WITH YOU TO FORGIVE ME ANY INCONVIENCE THAT MIGHT HAVE CAUSED MY DEEPLY REGRET THANK YOU
then
PLS ERIN I HAVE DELETED YOUR NUMBER FROM MY HANDSET AS A MEASURE TO PREVENTING ME TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO DIAL IT SO BE REST ASSURED THAT AM GOING TO KEEP TO YOUR SAYINGS THANKS A LOT MY HUMBLE APOLOGY
um
HI ERIN I WISH I COULD HAVE SAID A FINAL GOODBYE TO U AS I LEAVE FOR MY CAMPUS BUT MY FEAR WAS THAT U MIGHT NOT WELCOME ME BECAUSE OF YOUR LATEST MESSAGE HOWEVER I WANT TO SAY THANKS TO U ALL FOR YOUR SURPRISE IT WAS SIMPLY MAGNIFICENT MY SHORT MESSAGE FOR U IS HAVE A SUCCEFUL SEMESTER DEVOID OF SICKNESS BUT OF GREATNESS AND JOYFULLNESS

i thought you fucking deleted my number, what the shit??

BUT, its really a shame it didn't work out though, he had such great style.

white people in africa

 

1. play with the african children

2. get your hair braided

3. take a shit ton of pictures of the same thing that all of the other white people are taking pictures of

nothing matters

i have learned! that

in ghana, the only way to stay sane is to not have ANY expectations under any circumstances. and you have to realize that time doesnt exist. it doesnt matter how many other things you need to do, or how long something should logically take, because it will guarunteed take at least 4 times longer. i've become so okay with everything that happens to me.
i got stuck in our hostel bathroom, naked, for about 25 minutes the other day. they had to break the door open to get me out.
i spent 7 hours at the hospital the other day. maybe 15 minutes of that was spent doing something other than waiting.
a few nights ago our taxi driver went past where we were supposed to turn. we told him to turn around several times but instead he just kept driving for 15 minutes past our dorms and then turned around.
every time we go on a bus trip, we leave 2 hours late. minimum.
we were supposed to move into our permanent rooms on a monday. every time we asked them when we were going to move they smiled and said "soon!". finally on friday, they said "tomorrow". we went to the porters lodge the next day and they said "ok yes, when you come back". so we went to get food, came back, and then walked from one end of the dorms to the other, probably 6 times, searching down the the people we needed to move us in.

things just move so much slower here. which i'm totally ok with, but just know that when i call you or tell you i will call you, or if you write me a message, know that it will take a long as time. so maybe set your watches to ghana man time.

how is ghana!?

mostly, when i get this question, i just feel that i need to provide a list of everything i've done here so far. so here it is:
got off the plane, its hot and overwhelming but people are nice, go through customs, get luggage, get on a bus, drive to the university, look out the window, choose a roommate, put stuff in room, go out, eat snack (first ghana pinnapple- so fucking bomb!!) called my parents (couldnt really hear them), ate dinner, played bananagrams with only my roommate (epic), went to sleep, ate breakfast, listened to auntie sharon, felicia, went on a campus tour, exchanged moneys, lunch, internet cafe for pointless US embassy registration (first frustrating time-related experience), introduction to music lecture, dinner, african dance/singing class outside (so much fun), take taxi to go to reggae night on the beach, get tipsy, take taxi home, sleep, wake up, breakfast, twi lecture, bus ride "tour" of accra with kofi, stop at accra shopping mall (wierd) to buy sim cards, rest, dinner, african dance/singing (still fun), shower (probably),  sleep, get a lil too drunk off of star (the beer here) at tyme out (a bar on campus), wake up, breakfast, twi lecture, communication lecture, uc "academic matters" lecture, campus tour, lunch, internet cafe, dinner, dancing/singing (stilll so fun omg), go out to another night club and experienced the dance kindof club (creepy, not for me), maybe made a few ghanaians fall in love with me on accident (HA!), sleep, wake up to go to church and take a shower but then decide my dress is too short and im too tired, breakfast, go back to sleep for 4 hours, go to the beach, get back from beach, dinner, dance/singing (final one, SO FUN), sleep, wake up, breakfast, bus to "round table discussion" (which was just a bunch of lectures), dinner, sleep, wake up, breakfast, roundtable again, pack for kumasi trip, sleep, wake up, depart for kumasi, get out at 3 craft villages and get attacked based on rightful assumption of money and willingness to buy, lunch on the bus, got to hostel, dinner, get locked in bathroom (naked), "kumasi by night" haha (wednesday night), no water, sleep, wake up, breakfast, art lecture, manhyia palace museum tour, lunch, trip to lake bosomtwe (so pretty), dinner, bananagrams and dominos (on our rock hard beds (that had  equally hard/large pillows)), sleep, wake up, breakfast, assin manso slave site, lunch, get to hostel in cape coast, wander the streets and play with kids at the beach (there are also pigs at the beach!! (and poop in the water)), "peer group discussions", walk with a few people for snacks, sleep, wake up, breakfast, canopy walk, elmina castle, lunch, drive back to accra, find out we still wont be moving into our permanent rooms, i feel like shit, go to sleep, feel like more shit, go to the hospital, go to the pharmacy, get home, do some bucket laundry, call dad, sleep, wake up, feel better, breakfast, really boring orientation, read, sleep, internet cafe, dinner, watch sam get her hair braided, buy beer, walk with carissa to the boys' room, drink beer, go try to find more beer, no more beer, walk home, read, sleep, wake up, come to internet cafe and HERE I AM!!

be here now.
write more later.

the perma rave theory

ghana is exactly like a rave.
1. everyone is always smiling. or willing to smile if you smile at them. which you will, because you wont be able to stop smiling.
2. youre super sweaty and gross looking, but you dont care.
3. everyone is willing to share everything with you (and you want to share with everyone else)
4. dehydration is a real possibility
5. stereo love comes on the radio exactly when you want it to.
6. supervisors at night clubs give you candy that their dad gave them, after they tell you that they love you and want to marry you. and you teach them how to PLUR.

i think i like it here.